These past couple of months have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. All of the difficult and painful events that have spurred this wild emotional ride have driven me to the Lord and His Word. ‘What better place to be?’ you ask?.
The emotional loops, turns, ups and downs have revealed more of my selfish heart. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me,O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me. And lead me in the way everlasting.” He sure has been showing me my wickedness! I have memorized Scripture telling us to search our hearts because they can not be trusted. (Proverbs 4:23) And Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Oh,but it is so ugly and depressing when I actually see the sinfulness of my own heart. As my heart is being revealed, I think of the verse in Isaiah 6:5, “Woe is me for I am undone!” I always have to remind myself that just because I was not aware of these attitudes and sins until now does not mean they were not there. Ignorance is not bliss. I am so thankful the Lord does not abandon us or leave us to ourselves when going through the process of revealing our hearts. He guides us to repentance to make us more like Him. He already knows what is in my heart. (Psalm 51:9-13)
I’ll leave you with this encouraging verse.
Psalm 27:14 “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say,on the Lord.”