Friend?

Who doesn’t want a friend? There is nothing like talking, texting and visiting with a friend. Someone who knows you so well, cares about you, listens to what you have to say, and someone who will tell you the truth because they love you Or to quote Anne Shirley, your “kindred spirit.” We need other people in our lives to encourage, inspire and share with us. A true friend is such a blessing.

This verse comes to mind: Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Most people are friendly enough to have many friends. This verse warns us about something that must be considered when building your friendships: frivolity. *A girl seldom rises higher than the girl she has chosen to be her close friend.

I read the John MacArthur study Bible commentary on the Proverbs 18 verse. The text said that friendship “may come to ruin” by warning us that the person who makes friends too easily and indiscriminately does so to his own destruction. He is choosing friends without the Lord’s wisdom.

On the other hand, a friend chosen wisely is more loyal than a brother. The word “loyal” is a strong word meaning “one who loves” and was used by God in reference to His loyal/loving friend, Abraham.

Don’t be discouraged that if finding a kindred spirit is a slow process. It is more important that you find the right friend. Rather than having false friends who hurt you and your walk (and testimony) with the Lord.

This verse seems to add another layer to finding a true friend: Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

The John MacArthur study Bible commentary explains this rather obvious verse even more clearly, “The benefits of intellectual and theological discussion encourage joy through a keener mind in the improvement of good character which the face will reveal.” I always noticed after a conversation with one of my closest friends or time spent with them I always felt happier, excited, joyful. My face revealed the emotions I experience inside. I always ask myself after visiting or chatting with a friend “Why do I not do this more often?!?”

It is difficult to find many people that will be this kind of friend; a friend who will encourage you to be godlier. Oh, the difficulty of finding such a friend! To me, not having a close friend is a kind of TRIAL. As human beings, we all want friendship and companionship. As Christians, we want friends that we can trust, share with, encourage, and learn from. And we want them to be growing with the Lord and reading His word. It is hard to find such a friend.

I think of Jesus’ life and how many different people He knew. His perfect example showed us how He only had a few close friends (the disciples). He shared everything with them including His prayer life. And He kept them close.

1Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals.”

I cannot emphasize enough how important caution is when choosing who your close friend should be! I am not promoting a click! Please do not mistake this…”you are to be kind” (Ephesians 4:32) and “gentle toward all men” (Galatians 4:5). If you are discouraged in your search for finding a kindred spirit, ask yourself these introspective questions:

1.Am I friendly?

2.would I want to be my friend?

3.am I a positive influence?

4.is my life one that would inspire someone’s walk with the Lord?

As Christians, we are aspiring to be more God-like. We do not need to be discouraged about friendships that are hard to find because God will provide another growing Christian to come alongside of us in friendship. And I believe that in the Christian life we can give our burdens to Jesus. Cast the burden of loneliness and /frustration upon Him and pray that He will bring that kindred spirit into your life. If you already have that friend, thank God for them every day!

You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with….I definitely have 5 or so girl friends and then my husband that I spend the most time with. For those I am not geographically close enough to visit in person just in conversation and others that I am able to spend time with in person. Their insights and their testimony influence my life and cause me to think deeper and make me want to be the kind of person that makes me love having them as a friend!

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